Infidelity & Cheating in a marriage...If a child is born as a result, should the spouse except the child?

[Child of the Kingdom]

If a child is born as a result of infidelity and cheating in a marriage should the spouse accept the child? More and more this is a topic amongst believers and non-believers. It is very touchy because many feel that the child being innocent in all of this deserves to have both mom and dad. What say ye?

For the sake of discussion and because this is the most common scenario, we will use the husband. Please understand what you are asking to suggest that a wife accepts her husbands child born out of infidelity. I do know of case where the wife did accept this and the husband ultimately ended up leaving her for the woman whose child he fathered.

In saying that, is it wrong if a wife decides to play the role of Sarah and demand that her husband send the woman and her child packing with no further contact.

Genesis 21:10
Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.

[Child of the Kingdom]

With all due respect Fugett. That is the point I am trying to make. The other woman doesn't have a right to demand anything. If the relationship with the other woman ends then a marriage can heal. If it continues then it can't heal.

I would not tell my mom to leave him because she still loved him. That is not my place but what I did do was tell her she had that right. When she was upset a few years back she asked him for a divorce but he refused. The pressure from the other side due to little Ronnie turned the tides. Trying to make a marriage work when a bastard child and his mother is put into the equation usually spells disaster.

I think the best thing for the marriage is to put some distance between you and the other woman.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

The other woman doesn't have a right to demand anything. If the relationship with the other woman ends then a marriage can heal. If it continues then it can't heal.


She does if the man in the equation gives her the right, man can make a mistake, but a lifestyle is something else.

It is not that child's fault, and God has a purpose for each life he gives, remember God blessed Hagar's son as well.

[Child of the Kingdom]

I am not referring really to man's rights or woman's for that matter. I am referring to how God sees marriage. Whom God has joined together let no man put asunder. NO OTHER WOMAN OR CHILD EITHER HAS MORE RIGHTS THAN WHAT GOD HAS STATED.

Even though Hagar's son was blessed as well, did not God tell Abraham to heed to the voice of his wife in terms of her request to send them away.That child can still fulfill his purpose but that doesn't mean it needs to be within the confines of someone else's marriage.

THE OTHER WOMAN AND HER CHILD needs to hit the road when it comes to marriage. Marriage is what God honors not infidelity.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

EW, I simply don't agree, that man has a responsibility to his child, and any God fearing man will do right by his children.

You are wrong

[Child of the Kingdom]

You don't have to agree with me, but what say you about the Lord's decision in having The Bondwoman and her child sent away?

You must remember that in many marriages a decision has to be made which may involve other children as well. What about the wife and her kids. Is the other woman's child more important


A man can uphold his financial responsibility but he doesn't have to uphold an emotional responsibility if it will affect his marriage.

[Toni]

the bottom line is the emotional fallout that affects everyone involved EVEN the othr woman. She may give him ultimatum to marry her, but how will she ever come to trust him? What foundation does that marriage have? Every legal union is not a marriage made in heaven; every leagl union is not something God has joined together.

We discern a thing by the fruit it bears. The real victims are the all of women and children involved *sigh*. And sister I understand you're not wanting to tell your momm to leave, but what was the alternative? Stay in an abusive, untrusting emotionally devastating environment hoping things will get better? They dont in cases like these. Staying only prolongs the hurt and extends the fallout zone. I know you'r eloyal to yu rmom but you dont want to see her hurt more.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

excellent Toni and EW, you have to look at it from a spiritual view and not a carnal one, remember when Sarah insisted on sending Hagar away, God also assured Abraham that HE had heard his prayer in reference to Ishmael Gen. 17: 20-21 and he raised a well miracusly to saved MOTHER AND CHILD.

The repeated references of God's protection of Ishmael whose name means "God will hear" means that he too is an heir, inferior in status, but JUST AS WORTHY.

[Child of the Kingdom]

I get both of your points. But in putting my moms scenario aside I am really speaking from a Godly standpoint. How would God view this. Would God put the marriage first or the infidelity first.

I know of a pastor who did this to his wife. He had his wife and another woman pregnant at the same time. Now was she wrong for having him make a choice as his wife or should she have allowed a continued relationship with the other woman. Now I will tell you, they have been married now for 26years and this may not have been the case if the other woman had been allowed to dictate to this man how he should be

I will ask you both now. Should this pastor have heeded the voice of his wife or his mistress?

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

He should have heeded the voice of God and not been in adultery, she forgave him, and he should take care of ALL his children.

[Toni]

we know the "right" answer to this one... but that man was not in his "right" mind, so how could he make the "right" decision?

the "right" thing for him to do was to step down until he could get his house in order, and some therapy too

[Child of the Kingdom]

She didn't ask him not to take care of his child. That's what we have the friend of the court for. It is hard to tell a woman that loves a man to have or allow the input of his lover. No one is saying to not take care of your child but taking care of your marriage is more important. On the flip side, there was a situation where the husband had to pay child support and literally crippled his already struggling financial situation with his wife. What if this man's indiscretions will cause his family to lose house and home or his other kids to go without?

Evangelist, you are married, would you want your husband to continue to deal with his mistress due to a child?

[Child of the Kingdom]

Ivy K. said: We all say what we would have done or should have done, but we never know until we are in that situation. The scary part in all of these scenarios is that the "other" women think that they will have what it takes to hold on to their men. You reap what you sow!

I have discussed this with my husband before. We are very open in conversations about things because we have seen so many friend and family marriages fall apart. I can honestly say that the only way I could deal with this situation, if it were my husband, would be if we had custody of the child. I love children and I would take care of the child as my own. If that were not possible then I couldn't do it. I would have to send the Bondwoman and her child away. I would not consent to THE OTHER WOMAN calling my house all times of the night and day asking to speak with my husband and making demands on him.

Most OTHER WOMAN are not in this to sit at home alone while their babies daddy plays kissy face with his wife. Most, not all, will try their hardest to breakup the marriage. This can only be done if she is allowed continued contact with the man. If she is not willing to allow the child to have a relationship without her presence then she should just move on with her child.

I don't see where it is wise to continue with the relationship. Marriage is suppose to be 2 not 3. This is why there is so much divorce because people have unrealistic expectations about making these types on relationships work. In most cases they do not. 1 + 1=2 not 3.

People lets look at how things are and not how they could be. Notice I said could be and not should be. If things were the way they should be then there would be no other woman. Amen