Infidelity & Cheating in a marriage...If a child is born as a result, should the spouse except the child?

[Child of the Kingdom]

If a child is born as a result of infidelity and cheating in a marriage should the spouse accept the child? More and more this is a topic amongst believers and non-believers. It is very touchy because many feel that the child being innocent in all of this deserves to have both mom and dad. What say ye?

For the sake of discussion and because this is the most common scenario, we will use the husband. Please understand what you are asking to suggest that a wife accepts her husbands child born out of infidelity. I do know of case where the wife did accept this and the husband ultimately ended up leaving her for the woman whose child he fathered.

In saying that, is it wrong if a wife decides to play the role of Sarah and demand that her husband send the woman and her child packing with no further contact.

Genesis 21:10
Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.

[Child of the Kingdom]

This is why I don't believe scripturaly that God requires a man to spend time with a child born in infidelity during his marriage.

This can not be supported scriputurally, but the position of the wife's rights can be supported. I know the child is innocent, but the scripture doesn't say, whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder, except a child born through infidelity.....LOL

I say support financially but don't allow it to ruin your marriage due to contact. People are looking at this child as not having a father in his life but, what about the children he already has.

If he is pulled in one direction either he has to hurt his children with his wife or his mistress.

I think God would favor the children of his marriage not his infidelity.

[Toni]

HONEY, whether or not the "other" woman is willing to retreat, toss her the grand prize.... the "man" ANYWAY. Let her find out he aint alla that

[Child of the Kingdom]

Divorce is expensive. What if the wife can't afford that and it will cause her and her children to lose their lively hood and home.

Did you hear about the case in North Carolina where the husband cheated and his wife was going to lose custody because she couldn't financially care for her children. She wouldn't be able to support them after the house note and other bills and the husband knew this would get him custody of the kids.

Some things are easier said than done.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

NOPE! get help from legal aid,seperate, but do not allow yourself to be abused, there is NO livelihood worth all that.

There is no scripture that states that a man should abandon their child.

[Child of the Kingdom]

Fugett: Said: and the reason he leaves his wife is they never work out what their problem was or as Toni stated the wife degresses to a point where he despises her.

Sticky is the word

That statement gives everyman an excuse to say That if I get tired or my wife or she gets too old for me, then I have a right to get something younger and better.

That is usually the case in many divorces. A younger woman. This is why I thank God that my husband is much older than me and fears God.

[Toni]

I dont know EW. You said upfront that none of the ones' involved were saved people at the time of the indiscretion. That said, is God obligated to do anything or favor anyone in this situation?

As I said the emotional fallout is devastating. Can I share with you? let it go. Forgive, bless 'em if you have to do it by faith at first. That is the door to your personal healing. You are a believer, and called to minister deliverance. Babe, it starts at home, right where you are, where you live. If you got to rock in a corner and hold yourself as you release your pain to God, do it. You'll get free. Blessing your enemies will keep you free

[Child of the Kingdom]

This isn't just for the unsaved but women in general. Thank you for the kind words but I am not speaking of my husband. I would talk to him not a message board...LOL

If this were my case then I would have my claws out and keep my family together and the other woman out of the picture. This discussion is just like any other. People every where, not just Christians are struggling in these situations. And surprisingly the high divorce rates show that they don't know what to do.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

Old men have affairs too, and men are able to bear children well up in age, Fearing God is their strength, and knowing that they have a woman that will not put up with the foolishness helps. The high divorce rate also show that women KNOW WHAT TO DO.

[Child of the Kingdom]

Evangelist, I notice on other forums you support forgiveness when a husband cheats. Has something changed?

Also, women aren't the only ones filing for divorce, sometimes the cheating husband does too.

I do agree with you that if a man loves his wife and knows that she will not put up with foolishness he tends to stay out of certain situations.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

NO nothing has change, I support forgiveness of a mistake, a sin, but not of a lifestyle of sin.

[Child of the Kingdom]

Not everyone is meant to be a marriage counselor. I can certainly say that if a woman came to me and asked what to do in either of these scenarios presented on this post, I would have to use the case of Abraham and Sarah.

As a minister of God, I would not advise a women to allow her husbands mistress and love child into their mix. I would say, send the bondwoman and her child away. Ultimately, we must consider first how our own children will be effected. It is foolish to suggest to a woman to leave even if it causes financial ruin to her and puts her own children in harms way or at risk. A man may have a financial obligation to this child, but a WISE WOMAN would not allow a continued relationship as was the case of Sarah. Most mistresses want more and will press for more until she has unraveled the whole marriage. Now she can only do this is she is allowed to stay in the picture.

If you are dealing with a man who is just a complete womanizing rolling stone, then of course, just let it go. Every situation is different. You must look at your situation and make wise decisions based on that.

We must not guide others based on fleshly reasoning. Looking at the institution of marriage, in which God did ordain, it is more feasible to keep it in tact. Not every situation involves a looser husband that will continue this behavior no matter what. If you are in a marriage that can be saved after infidelity then I say preserve your marriage even if it means the other woman's child has to be without your husband. Just remember, that your children are the seed that God has blessed and were born in an undefiled bed. You are under no obligation to accept your husbands love child.

Statistically this spells disaster for your marriage, especially since most women who sleep with married men have no respect for marriage. While, I do thank everyone for their responses on this forum, I must disagree with the reasoning.
What I hear everyone saying is that the husband needs to keep a relationship with his bastard child born out of infidelity regardless if it ruins his marriage and hurts his wife and kids. Everyone is entitled to deal with situations how they choose too, but I'd never tell someone to do something that can harm their marriage. If you have a marriage that is able to be salvaged then you must realize this simple equation. 1 + 1 = 2 not 3. CAST THE BOND WOMAN AND HER CHILD AWAY.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

You are looking at one situation, there are plenty of testimonies out there, where the wives have actually took these children and raised and loved them as their own.

At my age Ive seen situations turn for the better that one would have never imagine. See in Christ Jesus ALL things are possible.

No YOU might not could deal with it, I might not could deal with it, BUT DON'T FORGET ABOUT HOSEA AND GOMER.