Is your Marriage Fireproof?

[Rev. Eric Culberson Jr.]

As I take a pause from the normal discussions that many may have seen me apart of here on BPN I want to take some time and open a discussion on an awesome Christian based film on marriage and the need for a commitment to Christ within the marriage. The movie is called Fireproof, if you havent seen it SEE it, if you have seen it I would like to take some time to hear what your opinions, views, and/or things you were able to glean from the film. While here in California the sanctity of Marriage is under attack, marriage as a whole within the body of Christ is also under attack. Are vows are not being taken seriously, divorce is at an all time high my question today is; Is you Marriage Fireproof? Have at it Body od Christ what say you?

[Scott R. Newman]

Yes the movie, "Fireproof" was and is a great movie that biblically speaks of the issues concerning marriages today with marriages that are acting more as individuals than what God has prescribed through His word as to become, ONE. Since the marriage has been greatly under attack, not by the "devil" since he's already defeated, but based on our lack of really understanding what a covenant marriage really entails. Marriage is ministry. My wife is the only one on this earth I made a covenant with. I didn't even make that eternal deal with my children. For one day my children will eventually leave and cleave to their own spouses in a covenant relationship that honors God. The reason why Kirk Cameron, who I think takes on a much more serious and compelling look at how to truly connect biblical truths, much more than the baffoonery that of Tyler Perry's movies that cheapens and distorts and sugar coats as well as lead many astray as he seeks money and fame, rather than Mr. Cameron I believe seeks true restoration by demonstrating effectively the Gospel of Christ through repentance and reconciliation that is remiss of bad oneliners and men wearing women's clothes for a cheap laugh track.

Face it, we in the Christian community who are called to be light and salt in a dark and unloving and unmerciful world where the prince of this world has deceived many, have a divorce rate that mimics the world of unbelievers. Why? How hard and difficult could it be to play out Christian character and integrity and love our wives as Christ loves the church? How hard is it for women, especially black women to honor and edify their husbands and to submit to us who are submitting to Christ? What is the main issues? What are the problems? Is it that we aren't content? We get into marriages too quickly based on a love-lust attitude. And I don't believe marriage is work. I hate that verbiage. Marriage should be satisfying glorious that requires dedication to our one and true Husband, Jesus the Christ. Based on our love and our demonstration of love towards our spouses, is just a reflection on how we truly love our Lord. Marriage is not based on an emotion state of "love"...Love is not a DECLARATION, its an ACTION. Love in a marriage is not based on mere happiness, since happiness is based on usually something that is temporary and physical in nature. Jesus I'm sure wasn't "happy" about coming in the flesh from heaven where He was worshipped for eternity to take on the sins of sinful and dead people to be scourged, beaten, mocked, despised, carrying a 120 lb cross on his already beaten and weakened body to walk 3 miles as he was continuing to be lashed to walk to his ultimate demise to hang on an old rugged cross because He was---Happy~~ He did it because Jesus the Christ was....COMMITTED! Yes, He was committed to His vows and His Word and His promise to be the slain lamb to be made sin, for YOU. He was COMMITTED! Why aren't we?

In other countries in the far east, there are marriages that are arranged that have less than a 5% divorce rate, compared to our "love-emotional" arrangements that allow us to be deceived in believing that we are in true love and ready and prepared to live a life long journey with just one whom we made a covenant vow to at His Holy Altar in front of witnesses. Why are arranged marriages that are not based on the superficial love more successful and satisfying than those in the west and especially among African Americans more in alignment with scripture? Because in arranged marriages, they know from jump street they don't love each other, they are not in lust with each other, they don't even know each other. However, based on the lack of intimate relationship with each other, they know they will have to do the necessary and intriquing steps to ensure a marriage based on covenant. They will once the 30 minute ceremony is finished will spend a lifetime journeying to seek the inner heart and core beliefs of the person they made a commitment with and grow and eventually abound in true love, a higher dimension of love and respect for each other that is pleasing to their families, communities, children and to their God. What about us? Yeah, we meet El Negro and Negroess on and in the street or the local bars, or worse yet in the hospital called the "church" where those are in need of real deliverance from their past many failed relationships that they have encountered and been made vulnerable to the lowest denominators of a warped and confused society that is steeped in nothingness that only seeks to pleasure oneself like a drug addict looking for the next fix. Now we be in "love" when a dressed up mannequin who gives the appearance of a "Godly" man or woman in the church comes knocking, gators and pimped out suit in hand and the women with their dresses that inadvertantly are found to reach below the knee's in perpetual "holiness" and "sanctifying" appearance acting out biblically on the outside of the cup but still the inner cup is wroth with bitterness, heartache and still don't know what it means to be preparing herself for marriage and have no clue how to submit and to abide in a man who is abiding in Christ so that she doesn't hinder the ministry that God has called man to be involved in to AFFECT the KINGDM OF GOD, and while at the same time to INFECT the kingdom of hell. Yeah, I hear you talking you want a man of God, but in reality from what I've gleaned, they just want a man like themselves, just have an appearance of a Godly man, to prop up like a mannequin and dress him up in his finest clothes, name brand homosexual clothes, like gucci and versace and drive some nazi mobile, such as a BMW, Benz or Saab so that everyone would know looking at this farce to see how "good" and how "perfect" their little marriage really is based on something temporal, not as something eternal. Now we be married, now what? What is the ministry? Or is it just to try to get to the stage, I mean altar to preach and be seen of men? Do they want a real husband, cause a real husband who loves the Lord and fears only God will command more from their wives and at times will say, "no" to her and may even ask her to leave her adoring church where she worships the pastor who has issues with fulfilling to go out to the harvest and be the "Fishers of Men" in gaining more men to the rolls of the church body that is deficient in men being present while the church, especially the black church that brags to have many members, but in fact has a 70-80% female body...

The reason why I love to watch the "Jerry Springer" show that is complete with a constant flow of depravity and carnality, because it keeps me focused of the war we are in. At least they know how to "keep it real", as they put all their laundry out for the world to see a glimpse of who we really are as a people and as a church that refuses to engage the harvest to "Go Ye Therefore" to seek and to save that which is lost. The divorce rate and the lack of committment among the priests and those who claim to be followers of a Christ who is committed to never to leave nor forsake us, but we have left and forsaken each other in our marriages that has affected greatly and aided and abetted what we now are witnessing the manifestation in our communities where 80% of all black babies born now are born outside of wedlock to single black and poor mothers who are struggling to keep and to care for their children. So now its nufin' for black women to say proudly, "I don't need a man" and the most detestable thing to say in front of children and boy children especially, "I'm the MOTHER and the FATHER"..What deception and what perversion of God's ultimate prescription for the family to live in accordance to scripture that benefits the children and children's children to lead our families in righteousness and justice for generations. God said, "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" three generations of the SEED of Abraham and its impacting importance of how parents can foster God's commands through the generational lineage of God's promises that flow uninterrupted through the ages. Now we don't even know our own fathers and need the likes of Maury Povich show to have DNA testing to see and determine who's seed is this among the 15 possible "baby daddy" male contestants as if its a game show. How ambarrasing and the reason why we are the laughing stock of the world. Marriage? Who's getting married? For what when silly women are now dropping their drawls at "hello".

Are people really preparing themselves to be married to just one person for eternity? Is that possible today? How does one determine whom to marry? What is the yardstick that is used to justify that this person is really for me? Is the 3 month pre-marriage counseling enough to qualify? What a joke that is. Has anyone heard of a pastor telling a future bride and groom, NO to doing the ceremony based on the obvious findings that they are not mature spiritually to be married? My parents were married and still married for over 50 years. And no, most of their marriage was not a good one. I was a witness to my parents long and arduous marriage. I've seen them argue and fight and my father would drink and at times was abusive to my mother. However I loved both of them tremendously and still do. They went through adultery in the 70's and lack of money in the 80's. I've never seen my parents even as much hold each others hands throughout their entire marriage. I have never even saw them sit down next to each other the entire time I've been alive. They were not happy in their marriage at all. Even as a child since my room was always next to theirs, I never inadvertantly heard any love making from their bedroom, only snoring from my father as my mother would read herself to sleep. But they loved me dearly. I never had a bad moment in my childhood. My father adores me and is very nurturing and told me he loved me daily and would even hug and kiss me even to this day at my age of 45 yrs old. My father told me once while we were playing horseshoes "Noone will ever love you more than me Scott".. How powerful that was to hear my father say that to me. Isn't it amazing that God shares that title "Father" to us mere mortals? Maybe based on my father's love and my father being faithful to me as a provider and as a cultivator and as a protector is the reason why I believe so much of Gods Word from the Holy Father. Maybe this is the reason why I came to the faith so hardcore in knowing the true love of the Holy Father based on the example of my living and sinful physical father. But what if my father left and divorced my mother? Would it have been more difficult for me to believe in a Holy Father who never would leave nor forsake me, if my father left and forsook me? My mother and my father stayed in their unfulfilled marriage for one reason and one reason only, cause they were..COMMITTED to their vows and to their children. *period* And at my parents 50th wedding anniversary last year, my mother wrote on the email "We made it". And in the picture she sent out of her and my father, they were sitting down next to each other and holding hands. Took them 50yrs to get to the place of Oneness.

My job as a husband and as a father is to demonstrate God's sacrificial love to my family as a parent to make better parents through the cleansing of His Word. God hates divorce! He hates it for the carnage it leaves behind, mainly the children are greatly affected when Superman and Batman and Spiderman all rolled up as daddy walks out the door, based on selfish reasonings cause one is not "happy" with the other...No at times I'm not happy with my wife or even in love with her at times, but I will say one thing, I'm....COMMITTED! I'm COMMITTED to my vows and because of that, the love I now have for my wife and she for me is for the first time in our 7yr marriage is striving for that place of what was stated in that 30 minute ceremony to becoming, ONE..

In His Gripi

Scott

[Rev. Eric Culberson Jr.]

WOW!!! That was a whole lot of meat to chew on brother Scott, and I thank you for sharing! Funny that you mentioned Mr. Perry I was just in conversation with someone recently about the garbage movies he's put out lately literally mocking God's church. And these movies hit the box office and are number 1 for weeks, but movies like Fireproof fly under the radar. One thing you said that is so true and stood out in the movie was the selfishness betewwn the two characters and the selfishness in marriages today. When God said "the two shall become one flesh" that's exactly what he meant, yet I still see me, mines, and yours in couples today. That's why it's so easy for them to walk away.

Side question what was one of the scenes within the movie that stood out to you? For me it was so many but I'll just put these two out; 1. was the relationship between the son and father that just reminded me so much of the relationship God has with us. He was so patient, understanding, and loving with his son yet never wavered or compromised what he told his son. And the other at the end that made the scripture come alive about unbelieveing spouses being won over by there believeing mates, when his wife told him " whatever you have I want!" OH the power of the love of GOd if we just so what he commands us too! That's it for now!

In his Love,

Culberson