Topic of the Week: Bag Men and Bag Ladies in 2009! Why is forgiveness such a necessary ingredient for successful Marriages and Male / Female Relationships?

“Many spouses and relationship partners carry heavy suitcases filled with a collection of anger and resentment from their marriages and relationships. Periodically, they unpack these suitcases and review every situation in which they feel they were treated unfairly. All of us have experienced the challenges of money, lifestyle, children, shared responsibilities and a myriad of irritations. Problems and offences are inevitable. How can a person deal with the anger and resentment that can build up in marriage? Does your spouse get on your last nerves? Are you holding a secret or an open grudge right now against your spouse or relationship partner? What are you resentful about? Do you know how to forgive? Will you? Are some of the problems you encounter and offences you encounter in marriage and relationships unforgiveable? Do you have a forgiveness problem or issues? Can you forgive everyone except else except your spouse? What advice could you offer to the rest of us?
Brother Marcus!
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Permalink Reply by Tara Robinson on March 27, 2009 at 9:34am

I can tell you when i was married this is what i had to deal with my husband cheated on me but then continued to play games calling the other woman every time he got mad at me. Lets see he stop working just to get back at me he would call me names cuss me out all while i attended church every wk. Then when i would refuse to agree with his behavior he would break items in the home which were all my things, lets see oh then he would tell me i wasn't saved and that i needed to stay home and learn him. He refused to pay any bills told me i should take care of him did i say he was 45 at the time ok well he refused to help out with our two children and i had to take care of everything. After all that then he decided he wanted to hit me when i refused to tolerate the disrespect so now it was like Mike Tyson and Sugar Ray yes i had to fight back. i talked to my pastor he tried counseling us but yet my Ex still wanted to control and dictate his law and rules. By the way did i say he blamed me for the cheating well any way the point i am trying to make is that through all this i forgave him now it wasn't easy it took sometime see i had a made up mind that i was not going to let what he done to me destroy my life i was more determined to be who God called me to be and i was not going to let one man take that from me. I Refused and i mean Refused to be another bitter angry helpless woman that life was not for me. Yet even though he did what he had done i still wanted my marriage to work i was faithful to my vows i learned to forgive him while we were still together but he just didn't want to change. The moral of this story is Always forgive and if you can work your marriage out then do it you may have to separate for a time and if you have agreement you can make any thing work. Even though my husband and i are divorced i still pray for him and i have forgiven him even though he is with the woman he cheated on me with and refused to help take care of the children i still forgive him he just did not want what i had to offer which was Godliness so we were not meant to be by choice i say choice because anything you choose to want will happen but if you refuse it then it just doesn't work out and i could not make him want me if he did not care for the life i lived. So for anyone who reads this i hope what i said have encouraged you and helped you to do what is always right no matter what.