Why are so many Black Women unmarried?

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

Friends,

I've posted a video on TAG's forum that poses the question...

Why are so many Black women unmarried?


Click here to see the video. Feel free to post your comments, experiences and/or suggestions on the topic.

~Minister Tracy Curtis~

[Archbishop Trevor 'Elihu' Greene]

This all depends upon the women, region, and religion........

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

I saw and heard no mention of prayer or even an interest in a man that God purposed for their lives. I do not feel that we as women have to settled for anything, I do however believe that we must change the way we percieve what succesful is. If success is based soley on monetary basis, one may remain single.

Being a woman that has been married more than once, in the world and in Christ. I believe strongly that the Lord will supply all our needs, ALL our needs

[Archbishop Trevor 'Elihu' Greene]

AMEN!

[Chaplain Pat Harris]

Being a woman that has been married more than once, in the world . . . I believe strongly that the Lord will supply all our needs, ALL our needs

AMEN & AMEN

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

FIRST we must always remember that we aren't always talking TO or ABOUT Believers when we are talking about relationships. A person may not mention what the Lord wants for them because that is not their focus. You should never beat an unbeliever over the head with scriptures or speak condescendingly to them because they don't include the Lord in their decisions.

And even with Believers, if their focus is off, guide them to the Light and Love of Christ... lead the horse to the water to drink but it will be up to them to drink.

Also, we tend to always think sex when it comes to relationships and it really isn't about sex for many people. Sex is part of it but it isn't always the main focus.

With that said...


This discussion topic came up with some female friends of mine over the holiday (Believers and non-believers in the group of women). And it seems that two things have happened over the years (at least with this group of women that I was talking to):


1) "Back pocketing" - that has been done by both men and women for soooo long. Keeping in contact with someone because they are someone you know you would want to marry "someday" but not today. You still want to be "free" but when you are ready to settle down, the "back pocket" person is the one you want to explore that option with.


And from the Believer's perspective, the "back pocket" is the person who is mature in the Lord but you are in a position of "God is not thru with me yet". But we forget that a seedling and a full grown bush still grow. The full grown bush grows as it is constantly being pruned. Will one ever "catch up" to a person who is already mature if the mature person is still growing or constantly being pruned by the Lord?


2) "if you can't be with the one you love, then love the one you're with" - Scenario - you are so deeply in love with a person who is not in love with you or has you in their "back pocket" and you don't realize it. So, what does the hurting heart do? They play Dr. Frankenstein. They create their mate out of "parts" or "characteristics" from different people.

How does this look? Well, according to movies, Dr. Frankenstein created a creature from the dead body parts of different people. So, let's say you love this one person but they don't love you back. You may find yourself dating several different people each with one or two characteristics of the person that you love and with all of them combined, they BECOME the person that you want. The problem with doing this knowingly or unknowingly is that you create a MONSTER relationship that will in the end destroy you.

What many people don't realize is that the original story of Dr. Frankenstein was not a manical Dr. who used dead body parts to create a monster. In truth, he studied galvanism (the contraction of muscles that are stimulated by elecricity) and he was so fixated on life that he wanted to bring someone back to life from death... the inanimate (dead body) with the animate (electricity).

We too hope to reanimate dead relationships with our own ideaoligies and schemes and plans. But what we end up creating is... a monster. A creator manufactured from our own bad relationship choices. And what is left behind is destroyed lives, altered lives, and a mess that we just BEG God to clean up.

My kids can recite our home mantra in their sleep "The mess you make is the mess YOU clean up".

We hate being in the position where the community of family, friends, church folk and co-workers will think ill of us because of our bad decisions and yet... we keep making them in hopes of one day saying, IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! I FINALLY HAVE A RELATIONSHIP... MY DEAD ROMANCE LIFE IS ALIVE!!


Now what happens when one monster meets up with another monster (and Believers do this too!). Well you get,

Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein

So, what's the answer: 2 Peter 1:2-10

Keep the main thing... the main thing and you will not fall nor will you fail.

~Min. Tracy Curtis~

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

1. Back pocketing - is an intentionally made choice to not make a commitment

2. When you are in love with someone that does not love you, it is time for self-discipline in your life, Jesus loves you and until the believer or non-believer comes to terms with that and puts more emphasis on that fact, then and only then will they love themselves enough to become that good thing that will attract a man OF GOD.


Some in the Body of Christ are suffering from Spiritual Necrophillia, intimacy with the dead. When we discover who we are in Christ we will no longer be interest in those that are dead in sin

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

See, Evg Fuggett - you said what I said just shorter and with no pictures LOL

Spiritual Necrophilia... I like that term. May I use it?

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

Run with it baby! Teach!

[HOPE - Psalm 43:5]

You know, I have another term for the "back pocketers".. It's those people who want to have a "relationship of convenience". One doen't have to alter your life nor lifestyle when you are in a relationship of convenience. One can keep that person around because they are meeting some need... sexual, social, financial, they may even be good with your kids so you keep them around. And One may actually not like the other person at all but because of something that they are receiving from that person, they keep them around. The other person is good for ____________ (the blank can be filled in with whatever need is being met).

This happens more in the church than we would want to admit.

Another thing, Evg. Fugett.. what is your comment on the two Believers where one is young in Christ and the other is more mature in Christ. I've seen this to. They think it will work because they are both Believers and therefore not necesarily "unequally yoked". One can help the other grow per se...

Here's a scenario for Believers .... just because a person can spit scriptures like T.D. Jakes doesn't mean that they are good in any other area. I've known people (men and women) who were just eloquent in the word but that was it. They couldn't balance a check book, didn't know how to maintain a home, couldn't hold a conversation about current events, didn't know an opera from a ska band, couldn't tell you anything about history... I mean the ONLY thing they knew was scripture. It was like they needed to just be at home reading their bible all day because that was the only way they could function. The ONLY thing they could have a conversation about was scripture.

Your thoughts.

[Evangelist Altha Fugett]

Hope, I believe that believers can be "unequally yoked" some are not as free as others, that can cause problems, because you don't want to be a stumbling block to anyone especially your spouse.

There are areas that I'm behind my husband in and he doesn't go off and leave me he helps me, and this is the attitude I have toward him in those areas I'm stronger. If that ability is lacking then they will just grow apart and open a door for the enemy.

[Hezekiah Ben Israel]

Why are so many Black Women unmarried? Deuteronomy 28

[Chaplain Pat Harris]

Has it ever occurred to anyone that marriage may not be for everyone?
What is so wrong with living the single life?

I am certainly not against marriage by any stretch of the imagination.

I am simply making a point to those of us who are single, that our lives can be just as fulfilling and fruitful as it can be within a marriage.