Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
Should I advise a married lady to submit to her husband when he is obviously making the WRONG decisions, ruining her life and causing damage to her health?
Ephesians 5:22 further says, " For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church..."
If this same man is making the wife pay all of the bills (including medical and food and rent) and making her give his 65 year old homeless brother a place to live in their house and making her do his brothers laundry and fix his food, wash his dishes and clean up after him also, should I advise her to submit to him? Then also the husband makes her do his other brothers laundry and feed him and his children at least twice a week also (this includes cleaning and dishes). Then the husband is trying to blame his wife because his brothers are homeless and do not have jobs. He is telling his wife she is a failure and is not doing anything with her life. She doesn't and never did have to much to do with his brothers. It is not her fault that his brothers had bad marriages and are homeless. I don't feel like God wants this lady to suffer for his brothers mistakes in their life. She has been a totally separate entity.But the man feel like if his brothers are unsuccessful that his wife will be sad and feel the pain too.
The really amazing thing about the man is that he uses this very same bible passage to prove that his wife should submit. He says he is a man of God and she should"do as he say."

The bible also says,"All men have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
I should not advise her to leave a home where SHE PAYS THE RENT AND THE UTILITIES and buys the food and medical also, should I? The place would no longer be there anyway because the man is just begging and doing a side part-time hustle for a living and he doesn't have the money to take care of himself. If the man is not happy and down on himself and his brothers should I advise that he seek prayer and resources elsewhere? What prayer can we offer for these people?
Please give me your comments on this.

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1 Corinthians 7:3 KJV
Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

Ephesians 5:25 KJV
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

A wife can ask her husband when he quotes his scripture, is the love you display to me the same as Christ has for his church?

There is a respect that each are due to give each other, however, she should pray and put the situation in God's hands as she continues to be obedient. Work as you work unto the Lord and not unto men.
Husband should leave Father and Mother (family) and cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. If he treating her like dirt, he doesnt think to highly of himself because the two are now one. Excellent thought EW in the husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church and did what "GAVE HIMSELF FOR IT" it doesnt sound too much like he is giving of himself. She should not be forced to feed his brothers and his family! If he was a man of God he would know to tell his brothers that "if a man dont work he dont eat!" and " that a man that does not provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever!"
Brother you brought some very good points of scriptural reference. Hopefully, if this wife presents them to her husband it doesn't create a whole other problem. My cousin is married to a Pastor in Detroit who uses the "I'm the Man scripture" all the time. If she dare questions him, he beats here mercilessly. My sister witnessed one of the beatings and almost put a beat down on this brother. But then she realized she was only 16 at the time and he was a big grown man.

If a man that calls himself a man of God, is not submitting himself to God then he makes it difficult for a wife to submit to him. This is why there is so much divorce among Christians.
Sister, a hard truth is that the wife in obedience to the scriptures should submit to her covering, for better or worse,... now in no disrespect, it is out of order for you to advise her to rebel against her covering, however using wisdom take her to the scriptures that shows HER how a man of God is to love his wife, when she receives what the word says, then she can go to the Lord and cry out in prayer for an answer.

God will put no more on us then we can bare, but we sometimes allow more than we are suppose to allow, Give her the word, and pray her strength in the Lord to seperate from under this Nabal (fool).

This way you don't fall guilty of putting asunder this relationship, because believe me, they could make up, get an understanding, and point a finger at you as a troublemaker

Be Blessed
Yes - do indeed advise her to submit to her husband. He may be wrong but every pot sits on its own bottom. She must do what she must do. He should do what he is supposed to do because he will be judged.
But that does not free her to go against the WORD OF God.
What you could do is have a wise and godly brother speak to the husband and in the mean time - You as her friend - can do more than give her this HARD advice of submitting to a cruel husband----->You could help her by ASSISTING her do all of those chores...She is under such a heavy burden and needs help. This way she would be more prone to hang in there and it might embarrass the husband.
Now that would be Christ working through you and her.
God bless you and her.
Oh newview, Praise God

EXCELLENT ADVISE, yes! that would heap hot coals on his head !!!!! the whole Mother's Board needs to go help her. Hallelu'Yah
Dear Sister Fugett,

Hah! I forgot all about the Mother's Board - thats RIGHT!
Now we are talking reinforcements - THE MOTHER'S BOARD!!!!!
Hi all, love ya in Christ, but must ask with regard to the replies. Are you serious? Come on, Ms. Taylor just described the actions of a godless brute feigning to be Christ like. Ofcourse, she should advise her to 'leave' if she wants to 'leave.' What about 2 Cor. 6:14 which states, 'do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers?' This brute is an unbeliever in the sense that he is disobedient to God's word with regard to his mistreatment of his wife.

He is abusing her and in so doing, is not obeying Scripture which tells the husband to 'love his wife as Christ loved the church.' How did Christ treat the church? He so loved the disciples that 'He, the Almighty Son of God washed their feet' (Jn. 13:1-10). So you see, you should present this truth to the woman as that male she is with is suppose to be doing the 'washing' and 'foot washing' of the 'woman' at that! He's gotten it backward. If he is not doing this, he is out of the will of God for he is not treating his wife as Christ treated the church.

Jesus provided 'all' of the believers spiritual and physical needs. This man who Ms. Taylor described is not only NOT providing her spiritual or physical needs, rather, he is promoting satanism (lies and deceits) as that which is the will of God. Ergo, she is not honor bound to stay with such a one.

Yahshua always, always, defended and exalted the women. This sinful male is denigrating and demeaning this woman. He is anti-Christ and she must not yield to such evil, lest she become anti-Christ.

Remember women's first loyalty is to our God who is 'head of all.' If Mary who anointed Yahshua's feet had listened to the raging male satan filled, lying disciple Judas, Yahshua would not have had the necessary anointing for his burial (Jn. 12:6-7). What did Yahshua say to those ignorant males? 'LET HER ALONE' she is more or less, more spiritually aware than all you males who have been with me all this time (Jn. 12:3-7).

Would he say any different to women today who resist the lies of males? Believe you, me, NO! That's why you see this abundance of female clergy all over the board. The males didn't know what they were talking about then and they don't know now.

People, please understand that the whole of Scripture must be incorporated into our mindsets with regard to this most serious issue called 'marriage.' If a man is not treating a woman in a respectful manner, he is not doing the will of God. These are the truths I would present to this woman who is being violated and told that such violation is the 'will of God.' It is wrong.

The high divorce rate among marriages is so because sexist males never taught the truth with regard to God's entire mindset on the issue of marriage. Remember, the 'letter killeth, the Spirit giveth life' to the true in-depth meaning of God's word. Ofcourse, God doesn't want women to stay in abusive enviroments. Scripture tells us that 'God allowed divorce because of the 'hardness of 'men's' hearts.' Yahshua quoted this Scripture when he was on earth (Mk. 10:5).

In other words, 'God' whose word proclaims, 'he hates divorce' would rather implement it than see men continue to mistreat women (Mal. 2:16). God warned men not to behave treacherously with regard to manipulating women into believing they must show blind allegiance to all the cruelties men exact. What this man is doing is treacherouslymanipulating this poor woman so by all means she should be instructed that she has the right to walk away from such cruelty as God knows, understands and will bless her with peace.

Afterall, Paul states, 'I would that you do not separate BUT if you does let her remain unmarried' for the final result is 'God wants us to be happy' and she is not happy nor can she be with some demented ogre using her in such a manner (1 Cor. 7:11,15).

Botom line, this woman, indeed all women, all men, all believers must be taught the true concept of marriage as God meant it. Men have purposely used the Scriptures with regard to 'submission' as the sum total of God's will for women.' One definition of submit is to 'respect.' You cannot respect evil being exacted in the Name of our dear Heavenly Father, you just can't. Please present this truth to that dear, abused woman for as Scripture says, 'God wants us to live in peace.'
Sister Johnson,

.......But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing......

It would seem that your advise is wise but it is rather fleshy.
Why not allow the power of God to work.
She could leave - but thats not pulling out the BIG GUNS, which is the WORD of GOD.

I think this guy - I take that back - I think this brother in Christ seems to have a rather obedient, poor in spirit, maybe mournful and godly wife - whom he is treatly dreadfully, by treating her as an enemy. God has an answer for those ills - its not popular and its not fleshy and its not very American but its for the Church who has power through Christ when it lines up with his instructions...and the answer for those ills are:

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not."

I dont see that this ungrateful husband - has committed adultery...which Jesus said you can divorce for ADULTERY - not because he makes you do his brothers laundry and pay the bills.

So if she left him - are you suggesting that she go find another man?
And then how many men after that - if that one does not work out?
How many men should she try out before she starts relying on Jesus' instruction to LOVE on this enemy like Jesus LOVED on us.

I just have faith that the Lord can change a Killer of the Saints to become a mighty man of God so He can change a rotten husband into the sweet protector and provider than any of us can imagine. But we must allow patience to have its perfect work, that we may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
I don't have anything more to add to that!!! It was laid out in accordance with the Word of God, no one is stating that she keeps herself in harm's way, the question from sister was simply should SHE advise this sister to leave, ONLY GOD should order her steps in reference to that! Let no man put asunder what God has joined together.

P.S. I speak from experience , and have left a relationship, because God rescinded HIS grace, and I was obedient to HIS will, not because flesh or another told me to.
Hi newview, with regard to your comments, let me first say no, I was not ever inferring that she should remarry. Rather, that she should get away from the abusive husband, stay 'unmarried' as Scripture proclaims and allow the Holy Spirit to heal her broken spirit (1 Cor. 7:10).

Why is it that no one quotes 1 Corinthians 7:10 with regard to Paul speaking through the Holy Spirit and proclaiming "A wife is not to depart from her husband BUT even if she does depart let her remain unmarried?" This Scripture is telling us that the disciples had a whole different take on God's rules with regard to marriage.

Paul didn't say anything like, 'you can't leave except for adultery' so showing that people of our generation are misunderstanding the context in which Yahshua spoke that Scripture with regard to 'adultery.' If he meant it the way most preachers proclaim the 'you can't leave except for adultery', Paul would not have said, 'BUT if she separates.' Think about that truth!

The disciples understood separation for other reasons than just adultery as preachers' preach. Elsewhere, Scripture says, 'if you have an unbelieving husband or wife and they want to leave, let them leave' (1 Cor. 7:15). Again, this is the Apostle Paul speaking of 'separation' and 'divorce' and not for reasons of adultery as the modern day church often quotes.

Why is that? Why isn't this legitimate Scripture that is not some interpretation but FACTUAL Scriptures is never expounded upon? With the result being, believer's mindset is left ignorant with regard to marriage, divorce, separation. God's people are perishing in marriage because of this lack of knowledge. Who told believers to ignore these Scriptures and only preach, 'Jesus said, except for adultery?' He said it to these Apostles and believers, yet here they are teaching 'separation' as that which is sometimes necessary.

I reitierate, explain why you can ignore such Scriptures on 'marriage' and only pick the ones with regard to the 'adultery' and the 'submission' when I have just shown you where the disciples spoke upon this aspect of marriage i.e. 'separation' if necessary.

If it's a 'bit fleshy' as you alluded then it is God's word that is 'fleshy'. Again, I was never inferring that she should date someone else. Rather, I quoted Scripture where she should remain unmarried and allow the Holy Spirit to heal her and prayerfully heal him as he realizes the value of the virtuous woman who won't return to him unless he changes.

No, my friend, I'm not advocating becoming a whore and dating other males. Rather, as she separates may she get some spiritual counselling and learn about her true self worth. As she learns, she will have the strength to resist the devil working through her husband to keep her oppressed and sorely violated. That's all I'm saying as look at this, what if there are children? Such abuse is only going to cripple them and they will grow up angry and perhaps take on the same negative demonic evil that the husband is doing.

Studies show that many male children who see their father's abusing their mothers do grow up to become abusive males themselves. Females grow up to think they are worthy of nothing but abuse. However, the key to alleviating this cycle of abuse from continuing is the WORD OF GOD or as you put it, the BIG GUN called 'separation' so that the children can see that God is NOT for their mother being violated by the brutish, out of the will of God, conduct of the husband.

Yes, the Scriptures of separation are the 'big gun' of deliverance that the church has failed to teach upon. This is why I said, believers must look at the whole word of God with regard to marriage and not just pick and choose certain Scriptures as has been the way for too long.

When teaching on marriage, ALL of God's word must be embraced that the Holy Spirit can bring it alive and set the captive free. What Yahshua said about adultery and marriage did not cancel out what the Almighty spoke in Malachi with regard to allowing divorce in the first place. Again, all the word of God on marriage must be incorporated in our mindsets lest we walk in a crippled state that causes chaos and confusion to be the norm with regard to marriage which is why there are such high divorce rates. It also leads to women leaving the church rather than being told to bow to some demented male and pray for deliverance.

Afterall, that's daily hell they are going through. Slavery is over, and God has granted us immense liberty, at least in the western, civilized world. I feel for those poor bound souls in Africa, Asia, Latin America and other backward Middle Eastern cultures where women live a daily, abusive, slavish existence. , A woman doesn't have to be violated to learn God's will. Rather, both men and women should appreciate liberty in the civilized western world and so walk in it for that alone is the will of God.
Sister Johnson,

Thank God you aint telling her to become a harlot. LOL!!!!!!!!

And I agree that a couple can seperate but the saint is not to seek it.....EVEN IF ITS AN UNBELIEVER. Because if that unbeliever wants to keep the marriage - so be it - who knows, the believing wife sanctifies the unbelieving husband.

Now back to this woman leaving a man because he requires a lot from her.
Her husband has not told her to commit a sin.
Her slave master of a husband has not been caught in a relationship with another woman.
I dont even see where he's hittin' her upside her head. I did not notice that.
And I dont see that he wants her to dress up like a hooker when they go out.

What he wants is his clothes thrown in the washing machine and he wants his brothers thrown in the washing machine. To me - thats NOT abuse.
But what does 'get my goat' is him wanting her to pay the bills. That would make me feel some kinda way!!!!!
But then to be honest - there is no sin in that - the husband may be paying for the clothes on their back and food and trips to Vegas - Who knows!!!

But she can leave - however I would not give advise to a spouse to leave their spouse for things like this- its not godly.



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