AFTER SAYING "I DO", WHAT CAN YOU DO? - Part 2 - My Spouse wants to do "special" things...
AFTER SAYING "I DO", WHAT CAN YOU DO? - Part 2
WHAT IF ONE SPOUSE WANTS
TO DO SOMETHING “SPECIAL” IN BED
AND THE OTHER DOESN’T?
Well, there is a biblical principle for that as well. Before we read the passage of scripture, I want you to be aware of two very important things:
1. Submission begins where agreement ends! There is no need to “submit” to something you agree with.
2. Love thinks not of itself, seeks not it’s own pleasure. Love always causes you to think of the other person
FIRST.
With that said, let’s look at a scripture that paints a picture of how God sees marriage.
Ephesians 5:22 – 33 (NIV)
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church
30 for we are members of his body.
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This passage is the biblical formula for a balanced marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands just as she submits her will to the Lord God because the husband is "lord" or head in the home positionally. Just as there is a president of a company and that president is held responsible for all that goes on in that company. This passage is God's purposeful hierarchy for marriage. Although "head of the home" is the husband's position, it does not mean that he is to be a tyrant. Our God is a loving God and husbands are commanded to follow the Lord's example. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. BUT, notice that Apostle Paul tells husbands how to love their wives in such manner. The husband should:
* sacrifice himself for her – give up some things for her sake (even some things he wants or desires)
* make her holy by cleaning and washing her with God's word (be the High Priest of the home and keep her pure)
*present her to himself (he must remember that she is his BRIDE – he should take care of his "stuff" per se!!)
The word of God absolutely amazes me because this is strikingly similar to what was done in the Holy Temple by the priests in the Old Testament as they prepared to go into the presence of the Lord. (Exodus 40)
*A burnt offering – a sacrifice was made (something had to die);
* There was washing and cleansing at the Brazen Laver;
*A presentation was made to God by the High Priest on behalf of the people.
Sexual frustration and dissatisfaction in marriage comes when husbands and wives do not know their roles according to scriptures and are only seeking to please themselves. The husband selfishly wants or doesn't want to do something; the wife selfishly wants or doesn't want to do something all apart from seeking to satisfy the other person….they want what they want and that's it. The biblical balance is a LOVE relationship where the wife wants to please her husband and the husband wants to please his wife; therefore everyone's needs are met. They are not seeking fulfillment of their own desires, they are seeking the fulfillment for the other person.
Come back for Part 3 titled: YOUR BODY IS THE LORD’S TEMPLE
WHAT IF ONE SPOUSE WANTS
TO DO SOMETHING “SPECIAL” IN BED
AND THE OTHER DOESN’T?
Well, there is a biblical principle for that as well. Before we read the passage of scripture, I want you to be aware of two very important things:
1. Submission begins where agreement ends! There is no need to “submit” to something you agree with.
2. Love thinks not of itself, seeks not it’s own pleasure. Love always causes you to think of the other person
FIRST.
With that said, let’s look at a scripture that paints a picture of how God sees marriage.
Ephesians 5:22 – 33 (NIV)
22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church
30 for we are members of his body.
31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."
32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
This passage is the biblical formula for a balanced marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands just as she submits her will to the Lord God because the husband is "lord" or head in the home positionally. Just as there is a president of a company and that president is held responsible for all that goes on in that company. This passage is God's purposeful hierarchy for marriage. Although "head of the home" is the husband's position, it does not mean that he is to be a tyrant. Our God is a loving God and husbands are commanded to follow the Lord's example. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. BUT, notice that Apostle Paul tells husbands how to love their wives in such manner. The husband should:
* sacrifice himself for her – give up some things for her sake (even some things he wants or desires)
* make her holy by cleaning and washing her with God's word (be the High Priest of the home and keep her pure)
*present her to himself (he must remember that she is his BRIDE – he should take care of his "stuff" per se!!)
The word of God absolutely amazes me because this is strikingly similar to what was done in the Holy Temple by the priests in the Old Testament as they prepared to go into the presence of the Lord. (Exodus 40)
*A burnt offering – a sacrifice was made (something had to die);
* There was washing and cleansing at the Brazen Laver;
*A presentation was made to God by the High Priest on behalf of the people.
Sexual frustration and dissatisfaction in marriage comes when husbands and wives do not know their roles according to scriptures and are only seeking to please themselves. The husband selfishly wants or doesn't want to do something; the wife selfishly wants or doesn't want to do something all apart from seeking to satisfy the other person….they want what they want and that's it. The biblical balance is a LOVE relationship where the wife wants to please her husband and the husband wants to please his wife; therefore everyone's needs are met. They are not seeking fulfillment of their own desires, they are seeking the fulfillment for the other person.
Come back for Part 3 titled: YOUR BODY IS THE LORD’S TEMPLE
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