While separated from my husband before my divorce, it was a struggle. The bible said one thing and my heart was saying another. Struggling many years with that on my plate my marriage ended in divorce after ten years. That wasn't the devastating part. The part that scared me the most was starting over. WIth the fear of starting over the concept was starting over with another man. After being divorced for two years and separated from my ex-husband three years prior. Starting over with someone else wasn't a forseeable option. With much fasting and prayer the Spirit of the Lord began to weed people and things out of my life. And the thing I learned was that starting over is never easy. No matter where you have been and/are going, it is never easy having done something for so long and walk away from it. Even if you try to return to the situation with a different mindset, it does not guarantee us safe passage to the place of restoration nor does it allow us the space to pick up where we left off. My marriage had gone bad no matter how I tried to salvage it or make things right. The wounds were too fresh to start all over and when we parted ways for the final time, I soon realized that I needed to start all over with the Lord, before I could start over with anyone else.
After a sufficient amount of time the wounds began to heal, and I had enough strength to return to the scene to do nothing other than make amends for the wrong that had been done. Amends were made for the sake of a friendship, and my own peace of mind. But, no matter how hard I tried it was very awkard at first, because there were a lot of unresolved issues that we had not been properly dealt with. Issues are the painful areas (sore spots) in our lives that no one really wants to address and/or take responsibility for. When we have not allowed God the opportunity to deal with the issues of trust, all of our efforts of reconciliation are in vain. I really wasn't sure I was okay with being rejected, nor was I sure my ex was ready to move forward just yet. But nevertheless for the sake of my own Christian walk I was ready to make amends that I might be able to move forward with my life.
As I sought the Lord concerning our possible reconciliation, the Lord revealed the broken areas in my life concerning my relationship with Him and with my ex. I had to come to terms with my part in the matter, repent for holding on to the pain and bitterness, and ask the Lord to restore unto me the joy of His salvation. It is only at this place of repentance and forgiveness that I began to feel alive again. It is here where God began to bring me full restoration. The very wholeness that would enable me to walk victoriously in that blessed state of peace. His peace that passeth all understanding. I now walk in that peace, and I'n eternally grateful. My prayer is that others can walk in that peace as well. The peace of God that keeps our hearts and minds stayed on Him. God knows we certainly deserve it.
You can start over no matter where you are or how far you have fallen. You can do all things through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
IN HIS HOLY PRESENCE!!!