Relationship Triangle in the Church with a Child

[Marriage Helper]

Family, I don't know where to start with this one because there are so many dynamics in this marriage. This couple want to know if they should stay at the church they are attending, below is the reason for the question.
1. The Gentleman is a Deacon in the Church, and 1 yr ago had a child with a new member of the church (female #1). All who are involved are still members of this congregations...thus the problem in the wife's opinion. I will get to that also.
2. Shortly after having the child with the new member, the "Deacon" married another young lady in a short period of time after she became a member (this is female #2)
3. Wife does not want to remain at the church because of the natural connection with female #1 and the child shared by now her husband, and father of the child. She feels they are too close.
4. The "Deacon" in his opinion is devoted to this ministry because when he came out of prison 9 years ago, this ministry introduced him to Christ.

Should they stay or go and why.

Your Thoughts family?

Marriage Helper

[Marriage Helper]

Very well said Rev Luckett and Pastor Dixon, I'm sure your input will help this couple find direction for their marriage. However the wife feels the husband/Deacon has been nothing but faithful since being married and she has no evidence to make her feel differently other than she is uncomfortable when he visits the child. I would like some females to answer one part of the question and that is should the wife go with the husband when he visits the child away from the church or should she trust him.

[Bishop James T. Dixon]

This is indeed a triangle. I agree the root is the behavior of the Deacon being allowed in the congregation. I'm not sure if an appropriate resolution will occur if the pastor is allowing this in the church. RevZ62 and the Marriage Helper covered this with 1) Kingdom Principles are out the window in this assembly if this is being allowed. 2) Moral compass is "skewed". This couple will have step back to see if this is an environment condusive to spiritual, and moral growth. It sounds like this triangle has a strong potential of several people being hurt as time goes on. There are some deep, deep issues in this situation and this church from what I can tell based on what has been shared.

[Marriage Helper]

While reading and posting this blog, I had the same sentiments as you and I knew the behavior of the Deacon would capture the attention of the reader. Regardless of the denomination, Kingdom Principles have been dreadfully violated, and ignored.

It sounds like the ministry is allowing this behavior with no noted consequences. From what she explained, he still serves in the role of Deacon.

[RevZ62]

I do not know what denomination this is but aren't there rule governing this? In AME, in Methodism and others of the first Protestant denomination rules have been established, (not always followed) to cover such situations.
His moral compass is so skewed he should have been expelled. You can not keep poison in the congregation.
The women are not the problem in the main. Blaming the woman is not primary. The man, his position in the church does not matter, should be leading and not subverting.
The man is still in prison, jailed in sin by Satan.